Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The grim reaper he came

And I told him where to go. The last few days I seemed to have contracted the bionic plague and it brought me to deaths door. The parentals, the elders and the dog were all worried as I wheezed like "I was on 80 a day" let me tell you kind readers, 80 of nothing a day would cause me to aspirate like I did. The medicine lady who shushed me (that's another issue) that it wasn't all that bad didn't seem to understand I hadn't eaten in 3 days and on the verge of dehydration because my beloved bottle was too painful to drink.


But with some voodoo I have made a somewhat recovery and reminds me not to be too fond of licking hand rails in a hurry ever more. They can keep pumping their drugs into me but little do they know it only makes me stronger....

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

With my new found freedom...

Comes a host of responsibilities. They expect me to actually walk places, like the hairy beast they call Diablo. I am not an animal and shall walk when and where I choose to. I've been called some new names the last few weeks...zombie has been prominent as apparently my balance walk resembles a zombie. I can only presume this is a term of endearment...(note to oneself: google zombie)

And so my transformation is beginning next week, my surgery to turn me into part iron man will happen and I will be on the path to being invincible...those who crossed me shall then feel my wrath.

That's all for now I must try to leave the iPad back beside the sleeping parentals. Toodles

Saturday, September 22, 2012

7 sleeps

A week has passed since my last update. I needed time to work on my new skills. Upright movement. Still a bit shaky at the moment, but in time I will master it and my plan slowly begins falling into place.
The Elders are hosting some sort of gathering today. A celebration of some sort. I'm unclear on the details but I suspect it has something to do with me....

Friday, September 14, 2012

Finally Back

Been a few days. They started putting the electronic devices on high shelves so I've been unable to reach until now. Nothing much to report. Spent some time with the loud one known as 'Nanny Phil'.She took me to Tai Chi to, I assume, train me to kill. And kill I shall.
That's all for now.

E out.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Woke up in a daze

Passed out last night the moment the Elder male placed me in my night time confinement which includes some sort of modified strait jacket and a small rectangular jail cell with no roof on it. It must have been the after effect of whatever they drugged me with.
I woke early today and stayed quiet while processing my options. They come....

E out.

Monday, September 10, 2012

My strength is unbeknownst to me

The indignities I suffered today were too vile to record but I will try my best to document for future generations. As soon as I entered the medical facility I noted the smell of death. I tried to warn the elders by communicating with my sneezing method which I have used previously to warn them of the flu germ ( I have a highly developed sense of smell that can detect viruses) but to my disgust they imitated me Ahh aghh aghh tuuuo & continued to march me to the unknown.

We passed the time in a room where I plotted details for escape & integrating with "the others" as so not to arouse suspicion. My fears were confirmed when they placed me in my compression vest & gave me unlimited mickey mouse...that's when they struck. 4 people came from behind & before I knew what had happened they had extracted DNA links but not without a fight. It took all their strength to hold me & I nearly blew my cover by kicking out my ninja moves.

They must have spiked my bottle because the middle of the day is a blur.... I awoke feeling groggy & hungry. The nurses wouldn't release me until I was walking straight, the parentals told her it was like walking ET & I never walked straight. We were released.

#note to oneself- google ET

The Participants In My Experiment

The Elder Female. Also known as 'Mama'