Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The grim reaper he came

And I told him where to go. The last few days I seemed to have contracted the bionic plague and it brought me to deaths door. The parentals, the elders and the dog were all worried as I wheezed like "I was on 80 a day" let me tell you kind readers, 80 of nothing a day would cause me to aspirate like I did. The medicine lady who shushed me (that's another issue) that it wasn't all that bad didn't seem to understand I hadn't eaten in 3 days and on the verge of dehydration because my beloved bottle was too painful to drink.


But with some voodoo I have made a somewhat recovery and reminds me not to be too fond of licking hand rails in a hurry ever more. They can keep pumping their drugs into me but little do they know it only makes me stronger....

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

With my new found freedom...

Comes a host of responsibilities. They expect me to actually walk places, like the hairy beast they call Diablo. I am not an animal and shall walk when and where I choose to. I've been called some new names the last few weeks...zombie has been prominent as apparently my balance walk resembles a zombie. I can only presume this is a term of endearment...(note to oneself: google zombie)

And so my transformation is beginning next week, my surgery to turn me into part iron man will happen and I will be on the path to being invincible...those who crossed me shall then feel my wrath.

That's all for now I must try to leave the iPad back beside the sleeping parentals. Toodles

Saturday, September 22, 2012

7 sleeps

A week has passed since my last update. I needed time to work on my new skills. Upright movement. Still a bit shaky at the moment, but in time I will master it and my plan slowly begins falling into place.
The Elders are hosting some sort of gathering today. A celebration of some sort. I'm unclear on the details but I suspect it has something to do with me....

Friday, September 14, 2012

Finally Back

Been a few days. They started putting the electronic devices on high shelves so I've been unable to reach until now. Nothing much to report. Spent some time with the loud one known as 'Nanny Phil'.She took me to Tai Chi to, I assume, train me to kill. And kill I shall.
That's all for now.

E out.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Woke up in a daze

Passed out last night the moment the Elder male placed me in my night time confinement which includes some sort of modified strait jacket and a small rectangular jail cell with no roof on it. It must have been the after effect of whatever they drugged me with.
I woke early today and stayed quiet while processing my options. They come....

E out.

Monday, September 10, 2012

My strength is unbeknownst to me

The indignities I suffered today were too vile to record but I will try my best to document for future generations. As soon as I entered the medical facility I noted the smell of death. I tried to warn the elders by communicating with my sneezing method which I have used previously to warn them of the flu germ ( I have a highly developed sense of smell that can detect viruses) but to my disgust they imitated me Ahh aghh aghh tuuuo & continued to march me to the unknown.

We passed the time in a room where I plotted details for escape & integrating with "the others" as so not to arouse suspicion. My fears were confirmed when they placed me in my compression vest & gave me unlimited mickey mouse...that's when they struck. 4 people came from behind & before I knew what had happened they had extracted DNA links but not without a fight. It took all their strength to hold me & I nearly blew my cover by kicking out my ninja moves.

They must have spiked my bottle because the middle of the day is a blur.... I awoke feeling groggy & hungry. The nurses wouldn't release me until I was walking straight, the parentals told her it was like walking ET & I never walked straight. We were released.

#note to oneself- google ET

The Participants In My Experiment

The Elder Female. Also known as 'Mama'

My 'Mickey Mouse' look..

This morning

Day 2

They came for me in the early hours of the morning, all smiles and such. From what I can understand from catching snatches of their conversations, they intend to return me to a similar medical facility to the one in which I was grown, for some sort of brain scan. My main concern is that they will discover how much more mentally advanced I am than them and lock me away for experiments of their own.
They also filled me with a large breakfast and mentioned something about starving me. for the rest of the day. These people are monsters, plain and simple, but I will suffer these indignities in order to further implant myself into their society so that I might learn their ways better.
That's all for now.

E out.

Sunday, September 9, 2012


Day 1:

I've finally developed the fine motor skills necessary to type on this infernal device. The Elders are busy in the food preparation area and believe I am watching Michael the Mouse. Instead, I can now devote my spare time to write my notes down on my current experiments.
I am perplexed it has taken this long to get around to doing this but time has a way of getting away from you when you're easily distracted by bright colors and interesting sounds. I will be 2 years of age in the coming weeks and this is causing me to reflect on my choices and experiences up until now. I can only hope that this journal will help me make sense of these things and help me keep track of how my training of the Elders is going. Oh wait, I hear one of them coming to check on me....

....Looking blank faced and staring at the Disney Channel with a sly smile on my face because they have no idea that I've been secretly observing their ways and customs since I got here.  That's all for now...Nap time.